Satire
The Database That Would Have Been Oracle
Nobody was still using Oracle. Until someone from the enterprise architecture team joined the call.
A new project needs a database. The team writes MongoDB in the proposal. The proposal goes to the Architecture Review Board.
An enterprise architect reads the proposal.
What Actually Happens
MongoDB is not on the approved vendor list. Getting it on the approved vendor list requires a security review, a data residency assessment, and a formal onboarding submission to the Vendor Management team. That process takes three months. Oracle is already on the list.
The Oracle licensing cost for the project scope is $240,000 per year. MongoDB Atlas at the same scale is $900 per month. The ARB is not aware of the cost comparison because it was not included in the submission template. The submission template does not have a field for that.
The ARB approves Oracle. The project scope is a CRUD API with 14 endpoints and a payload that averages 4KB.
“The correct database is the one your team can operate at 2 AM when something breaks. Neither answer on this slide deck qualifies.”
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Let's talk architecture →How a Builder Should Respond
You separate the technical decision from the procurement decision and work both tracks in parallel. You document the cost delta in numbers and attach it to the submission — not as an opinion, but as a line item the finance reviewer will have to sign off on. If the vendor restriction is a genuine blocker, you frame it as a risk with a cost attached, not a preference. You make it easy for the decision-maker to make the right call. Technical arguments lose in procurement rooms. Business cases do not.
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