Satire
The Purchase Order That Needed Its Own Purchase Order
The software cost $400 a month. The procurement process cost six weeks and four people.
The team needs a tool. It costs $400 a month. There is a budget line for tools.
The vendor is not on the approved supplier list.
What Actually Happens
Getting added to the approved supplier list requires a Vendor Due Diligence form, a Data Processing Agreement reviewed by Legal, an information security questionnaire with 37 questions, and a completed Third Party Risk Assessment. Legal requires a Statement of Work before they will review the DPA. The Statement of Work requires a Purchase Order number. The Purchase Order requires budget approval from the cost centre owner. Budget approval requires a business case. The business case template has eight sections.
The business case takes three weeks and two stakeholder reviews.
The tool is approved six weeks later. The team has been using a free alternative with worse UX that does not integrate with any existing system and has caused two people to duplicate work they had already done.
“I calculated the fully-loaded cost of this procurement process. It was eleven times the annual software cost. I recommend we procure a better procurement process.”
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Let's talk architecture →How a Builder Should Respond
You check the approved supplier list before selecting a tool. If your preferred option isn't on it, you start the onboarding process the same day you start the evaluation — not after. The DPA, security questionnaire, and business case follow a predictable pattern; you maintain a template so the next one takes days, not weeks. You also maintain a short list of already-approved alternatives for every category, so the team has something functional while the preferred option moves through review. Procurement is a process, not a barrier — but only if you treat it as a workstream, not an afterthought.
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